conversations with hank

Pai: I have just learned there is a museum of anatomy in Porto.

Me: Really?

Hank: Like what does that mean?

Me: At the university?

Pai: Exactly, I think someone among us would really enjoy it and I think it is important to really see how far her interest in anatomy goes.

Hank: I might skip that adventure.

Pai: It means tons of stuff in jars.


Me: (riots of laughter)

Pai: (chuckling)

Hank: How does she even know what we’re talking about?

Molly: Brains!



No One Ever Called Her Dumb… Not One Day

conversations with hank and molly

Me: Alright, my dear, it is time to get dressed.

Molly: No.

Me: Excuse me?

Molly: No, thank you.

Me: Better, but still not an option.

Molly: I want to stay in my pajamas.

Me: Again, not an option. Every day is an adventure and your adventure awaits.

Molly: I do my adventure in my pajamas. It fine. (patting her belly, nodding)

Me: Name one aventureira (adventurer) who wears pajamas.

Molly: PJ Masks.

Me: (interior monologue: shiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt)


Me: (eureka expression) Yes, but they only wear their pajamas at night. Clearly, morning has broken.

Molly: Oh man! (sticks her arms up in surrender to get dressed)

Me: (pulling her pajamas over her head, whisper scream) Success.

Molly: Excuse me?

Me: Nothing. (smiling, pulling a t-shirt over her head, victorious)


Funny Food Avoidance

conversation with hank

Molly: (finishes feeding her doll and herself soup and starts to leave the dinner table)

Me: Amália Sofia, where do you think  you’re going?

Molly: My Rapunzel needs to faz xixi (pee).

Me: But it is dinner time and we are all sitting down to the table together.

Molly: (with conviction) BUT MAMA, she needs to faz xixi (pee) in the bathroom and not in her cuecas (underwear)!

Me: Fair. Hustle and help Rapunzel faz xixi (pee) then return to the table to eat.

Molly: Okay. (Dashes off and returns to the table with no doll)

Me: MaGoo?

Molly: (pushing her dinner around her plate) Yes, mama.

Me: Where is Rapunzel?

Molly: She in the bathroom. She needs to be alone.

Me: And what is she doing in the bathroom.

Molly: Mama, I told you she has to faz xixi (pee)!

Me: (envisioning fishing her barbie out of the toilet bowl) Amália, is Rapunzel peeing on the toilet?

Molly: (aghast) Mama, no way. Rapunzel is biaxa de tornada (in the sink). The toilet is too too dangerous. She could f- (undistinguishable over the hubbub of the dinner table) in!

Me: She could FART in?

Hank: Nooooo, MOM (laughing) she said she could fall in!

Molly: (positively purple with laughter) YES! She could FART IN! (hysterical)

Me: Could totally happen.

Hank: (giggling)

Me: One wild fart and that doll would be swimming, The toilet is far too dangerous for dolls.

Molly: Fart! (rockets of laughter) Fart in!!!! That is a good one, mama.