Hank: Mama! I know how my prima (cousin) Daniela got into her mom’s belly.



Hank: A unicorn came and touched my Tia (aunt) Isabel’s belly and that is how she got in there. That is what she told me and I believe in in my prima so I believe it is true.

Me: Ah.

Pai: Um.

Me: I also believe in your prima. Unicorns are magical and so is she so it makes perfect sense. I would be prepared to fully believe in this idea if I hadn’t been friends with her father, Santos, who passed away before you were born. What Daniela is telling you is a legend. Do you know what a legend is?

Hank: No.

Me: All great and wonderful people have legends associated with them. A legend is a story that is part fact and part fantasy and your prima (cousin) is indeed great and wonderful so it makes perfect sense for this to be her legend. Her laugh is so infectious that you cannot be sad when you are with her and she is the strongest and hardest working teenager I know so in those ways she is most like the unicorn and she looks like Santos and he was also very tall like she is, so combined you have fact and fantasy.

Pai: And I bet she farts rainbows.

Hank: (hysterically laughing)

Me: (positively purple, doubled over)

Hank: Unicorns (hyperventilating) fart rainbows?

Pai: Fact.


Good morning, Hank. It’s Tuesday.


Hank: Mama?

Me: (pausing video) Yah, buddy?

Hank: Is that man talking to me?

Me: Excuse me?

Hank: That man. Is that my Uncle Jesse?

Me: No. This man is an author named John Green. He does look like your Uncle Jesse. I have thought the same thing.

Hank: But he said, “Hank.”

Me: (catching on) Yes. Ok. You are right. His brother’s name is Hank and they make video messages to each other and post them on YouTube every week.

Hank: (thinking) If this is a video to his brother then why can you watch it?

Me: Because the majority of content on YouTube is public so anyone can watch it.

Hank: Does this man know you are watching his video?

Me: Not me specifically, but he knows that millions of people watch the videos he and his brother Hank make and so they discuss interesting topics and world events.

Hank: Ok. I was confused. I thought he was talking to me.

Me: Well, he kinda is speaking to you.

Hank: Oh. Can I watch with you?

Me: Sure. (restarting the video)

John Green: Good morning, Hank. It’s Tuesday.

Hank: (smiling)

(and a seven year old Nerdfighter was born)


Coisas Sexuais (sexual content)

Hank: Mama?

Me: (from behind my book) Hum?

Hank: Is kissing coisas sexuais (sexual content)?

Me: Depends on the kiss. In Portugal a kiss on the bochecha (cheek) is like a handshake in America.

Hank: What about on the lips?

Me: Can be. In some countries they kiss on the mouth like we kiss on the bochecha (cheek). I think the best way to think about this is the intention, do you know what intention means?

Hank: No.

Me: Intention is what is the meaning behind something. It is that feeling you can sense in your belly when someone says or does something. Like… I can say you name with a nice intention meaning “come here, please” or “hey, whattcha doing” or I can say your name with the intention that you are in trouble.

Hank: Like when you say my whole name? When you say my whole name I know I am in trouble.

Me: Exactly. So you can put intention behind a kiss. Once kisses leave the bochecha (cheek) and move to the lips… AND most especially when you kiss with your mouth open you have a whole OTHER INTENTION then saying hello or goodbye.

Hank: People kiss with their mouths open?

Me: Yup.

Hank: How does that even work?

Me: You’ll figure it out someday, but this should not be your intention at seven.

Hank: I know bochecha (cheek) kisses only.

Me: Why are you thinking of coisas sexuais (sexual content) may I ask?

Hank: There is kissing on the SIMS Free Play for the Ipad and you won’t let me play the real SIMS because of coisas sexuais (sexual content) so I thought I should check with you about the kissing.

Me: We have screened SIMS Free Play and you are aloud to play it, it does not have the same content as the full SIMS game, but thank you for checking with me.

Hank: There is kissing but it is with good intentions not sexy stuff.

Me: Good job using your new word.

Hank: (already sucked back into the game)

(Hank was given this love note last year.  Click here to read my reaction.)