Me: Hank? How do you say toaster in Portuguese?
Hank: (thinking) I do not know. Ask your… (pause) wife?
Me: You mean my husband? Your papa? Or do you mean my other wife as I am your papa’s wife?
Hank: Your marido (husband).
Me: Or I can ask my other marido (husband), o meo dicionário (my dictionary). (flipping through pages) Toast: Torradas. A piece of toast: Uma torrada. Etcetera, etcetera… Ah score: toaster: torradeira.
Hank: Now I am very hungry for uma torrada.
Me: Well, we will have to go to the café because our torradeira caught fire this morning and I believe it is dead. I needed this word because we need to buy a new one.
Me: Don’t worry. I unplugged it and tossed into my dishwater. Same thing happened when I was a little girl about your age. Our toaster caught on fire and your Grandpa Snitch threw the flaming toaster out into the snow. So if you want toast we better buy a new one.
Hank: Uma torradeira nova (a new toaster)?
Hank: Lets go. Lets go right now. I can wait. New toast in our new toaster. Come on my mama!
Me: Let me get my keys and my marido (husband) not my dicionário.