Hank: OH!! I am not suppose to go to school tomorrow if I have somewhere to go.

Me: (bagging oranges) Come again?

Hank: I am not supposed to go to school.  My teacher will not be there tomorrow.  She has exames (exams) and she will not be at school, so if I can stay with you then I am suppose to stay at home, but if you are very busy I can go to school.

Me: When did you learn this?

Hank: Na Sexta-feira (On Friday).

Me: Today is Sunday.

Hank: Is that Domingo (Sunday)?

Me: Yes, why didn’t you tell me on Friday?

Hank: (thinking) I forgot.  I just remembered looking at the oranges because oranges make you healthy and my teacher has to go to the medicos (doctors) because her heath isn’t good.

Me: Why didn’t your teacher send a note home?

Hank: Because she said it was our responsabilidade (responsibility) to tell you ourself.

Me: Impressive and true! I hate that you teacher isn’t feeling well.  You can of course stay with me and then Tuesday is your school party for Natal (Christmas).  Then FARIAS (holidays)!


Me: Truly! (Pai returns with milk) Now fill your papa in while I go to the caixa (register).

Hank: Papa!  I forgot to tell you about my responsabilidade (responsibility)!


Ranho (Snot)


Hank: (sniff, coloring, sniff, coloring, sniff, coloring, sniff)

Me: Do you need to get a tissue?

Hank: (deep disgusting sniff)

Me: DO NOT SNIFF THAT STUFF BACK IN!  It was coming out for a reason!

Hank: (hysterical, SNIFF)

Me: AHHH!  No! PARÁ!!! STOP! Stop it.


Me: Oh!  You are such a boy!  Go blow your nose!  I mean it!

Hank: (laughing on the way out the door, SNIFF)



Missing Playmobil


Hank: Mama, I just learned on the Internet that if you lose a piece of Playmobil you can write to the Playmobil factory and they will send you a new piece.

Me: (from behind my book) OR you can simply ask the fairy that snatched it to bring it back.

Hank: What?

Me:  It is common knowledge that fairy hands and Playmobil hands are the exact same size.  Therefore fairies are extremely tempted when they see a stray Playmobil, Lego or Sylvanian Family piece to snatch it up and take it home.  A Playmobil coffee cup is a prized commodity on the Fairy Black Market.  Sure acorn caps and seed casings work perfectly well, but for fairy brew nothing sits better in the hand.  Legos patch walls and keep the wind out and don’t get me started on Sylvanian Family things, every fairy bride wishes for their own set of fine resin china.  This is why it is so important to keep track of your things.  It is not the broom you need to be worried about, but the hands of the fae.

Hank: That makes total sense, but still, if I lose too many things to the sneaky snitching fairies we can get new ones from the factory.

Me: You better save your pennies then.  I only buy toys once.  If you need replacements it is your responsibility.  (continues reading)

Hank: That is fine.  That is perfectly fair and fine.  (scuttles off)