Upside-Down World


Me: Good morning, Chicken.

Hank: Good morning, my mama.

Me: (sipping my coffee)

Hank: Mama? I am feeling breakfast-ie.

Me: Well that is better then feeling dinner-ie since it is 8 in the morning.  If you had dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner we would be living in an upside-down world.

Hank: (giggling)

Me: And we would wear pants on our arms and shirts on our legs.

Hank: And… Hats on our feet and shoes on our heads.

Me: And…

Hank: What?

Me: (whispering) I am trying to imagine what we would do about cuecas (underwear).

Hank: Oh. We would wear those inside-out.

Me: Whoosh!  That is a relief.

Hank: You’re welcome. Now, back to breakfast.


To Be Continued


Hank: I have been thinking about a story you should write.

Me:  (sitting down) Tell me everything.

Hank: It is a story about love of a prince and a princess but the princess does not come first.

Me: Ok.

Hank: She comes later, but first the prince, named Strong King, lives with his mother and his father in a castle in China when they had castle.

Me: You mean Imperial China? And they were more palaces then castles.  In Imperial China they focused on building a large wall instead of individual castles.

Hank: Ok.  And the love happens in the fall.

Me: I have a theory about a fall romance I will tell you then you are older and ready for a romance of your own.

Hank: A fall romance between a prince and a princess who happens to be a normal girl. Once upon a time in Imperial China there was a girl named Jeni and she was a dumpling maker with a magical pan that made 500 dumplings in one second.  She made the dumplings by hand the pan made the rice.

Me:  That would be a good princess to have.

Hank: Now the prince had a beautiful palace with his mother and his father and he respected education and went to learn everyday and he had sweat corn cereal and milk every day for breakfast.

Me: What was his name?

Hank: Prince Strong King.

Me: That’s right.  Good foreshadowing.  How did he meet Jeni?

Hank: Who is Jeni?

Me: The soon to be princess with the magical rice cooker.

Hank: Um… Well…  (pause) I think I am done story telling because I have nothing left in my brain.  Can I tell you the rest tomorrow?

Me: Of course.

Hank: And can we have a snack now?  I think my hungriness stole my story.

Me: Happens to me all the time.


Pizza Toast


Me: Shall we have pizza toast for lunch?

Hank: What is pizza toast?

Me: What?

Hank: What?

Me: I have never made you pizza toast?

Hank: I don’t know what that is.

Me: OH MAN!  This whole European living thing has really messed up my priorities!


Me: I cannot believe it.  (facepalm) You cannot tell anyone about this. They will take away my mommy card.  They will send you to live with a proper Midwestern family who will give you macaroni and cheese and other assorted casseroles.

Hank: Mommy.  I won’t tell anyone.

Me: Good. We simply can’t.  I am so sorry, Hank.  Where have I been for the last 6.5 years?

Hank: Mama, calm down.  I want to eat the pizza toast.  I know I am going to love the pizza toast. We will tell no one about not having the pizza toast until today.

Me: Bless you.  You are good to me.