While on a walk


Me: Oh look!  A bride.

Hank: She looks beautiful.

Me: Indeed.

Hank: I know you got married at the jail, but did you wear a dress?

Me: We got married at the courthouse below the jail and no I did not wear a dress.  I wore jeans, so did your pai (dad) and you wore overalls.

Hank: And I cried and broke a microphone.

Me: Yup.  That day I learned you should never get married during your baby’s naptime.  Are you going to have a big wedding?

Hank: I don’t know. (pause) I am not that person yet.

Me: Truth.


Sister Wives


Hank: Whatcha watching?

Me: It is a show about a family that is made of 4 wives, one husband and about a million brothers and sisters.

Hank: Oh. Are they Muslim like Mariama?

Me: No, their teacher is Jesus and a couple other dudes they call The Latter-Day Saints.

Hank: Can I watch?

Me: Sure.

(show progresses)

Hank: Oh look, she has a new baby, that is nice.

Me: Yup.

(show progresses)

Hank: Oh, they are getting new houses.  That is nice.  It must be hard living apart.

Me: I bet.

(show progresses)

Hank: I want to cut down my own Christmas tree someday.

Me: Some day, sure.

Hank: Wow.  Those brothers got into a fight.

Me: That can happen.

(show progresses)

Hank: Wow. It is Christmas.  I love Christmas and they are all in that big house together.  I think it would be nice to have so many brothers and sisters.

Me: Yup.

Hank: I love Christmas.

Me: I know you do.

Hank: Wait.  What is that?

Me: Oh man.

Hank: Is that a gun?

Me: Yup.

Hank: The dad got a gun for Christmas?

Me: Yes.

Hank: What is wrong with him?


Hank: And he is happy?

Me: Looks like it.

Hank: And the mommies bought it for him?

Me: Appears so.

Hank: But that looks like a war gun.


Hank: I don’t understand.

Me: Some people choose to have guns.

Hank: But those are for hunting for food. That is a war gun.


Hank: Why would anyone want a war gun for Christmas?

Me: I don’t know.

Hank: I don’t understand.

Me: Neither do I.

Hank: Is he a soldier?

Me: No.  I think he is in advertising.

Hank: What is that?

Me: Making commercials, publicity for TV and magazines.

Hank: Then why does he need a war gun?

Me: I do not think he needs a war gun.  I think he wants a war gun.

Hank: Why would anyone want a war gun?  No one wants a war.

Me: I don’t have an answer for you.

Hank: I don’t understand.  To them this is not strange?  To me this is very strange.

(pause) Can we watch something else?  I don’t want to watch this show anymore.

Me: Of course.

Hank: Lets watching a cooking show or a funny show not a gun show.




Me: Good morning, Chicken Soup!  How was your sleeping?

Hank: Good morning, my mama.  I slept well and I was talking with my belly this morning and my belly would like a cinn-na-min-na toast, please.

Me: I hate to disappoint your belly, but to make a cinn-na-min-na toast it would have to get dressed, grab shoes and come with me to the padaria (bakery) as we are out of bread.

Hank: (whispering) Oh.  That makes my belly very unhappy.

Me: Would your belly like bacon and eggs instead?

Hank: (thinking, looking down) Yes.  We can compromise.  We can’t get dressed yet. We need more time in our cuecas (underwear) my belly and me.

Me: My belly and I.

Hank: My belly and I.