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Not an ordinary request

conversationswithhank.com

 

Hank: Mama!

Me: Hank! How was your day?

Hank: Good. I will tell you all about it, but Irina and Euclides want to see the fairy door and we want to call the fairies and they only have a few minutes before they have to leave.

Me: Ok. Olá Irina e Euclides. Entra (come in)!

Hank: Also, after we call the fairies can you leave? We would like some privacy.

Me: Sure. Let me get the correct fairy spell. Who are we calling?

Hank: Paige Portensia.

Me: And are we calling her at home or at work?

Hank: Um… home.

Me: Alright, ready?

Hank: Ready.

Me: Knock on your fairy door 4 and 20 times.

Hank: (counting to himself)

Me: Oh hear me close to Hollow’s Grove.

Hank: Oh hear me close to Hollow’s Grove.

Me: I, Hank call upon the ear of Paige Portensia Xanthro Sprigh.

Hank: I, Hank call upon the ear of Paige Portensia…

Me: Xanthro Sprigh.

Hank: Xanfro Sprigh.

Me: When her moment is clear,

Hank: When her moment is clear,

Me: I seek her ear.

Hank: I seek her ear. Ok, mama, you can leave now.

Me: Yup. Divirta-se falar com as fadas, amigos. (Have fun speaking with the fairies, friends.) (shutting the door to my office, but totally listening in on their conversation.)

Hank: Queridas fadas, eu quero um Wii U. Irina sua vez de dizer-lhes o que você quer. (Dearest fairies, I want a Wii U. Irina your turn to tell them what you want.)

Irina: Queridas fadas, eu quero um iPhone como o da mãe de Henrique. Gostaria também de um iPad com um caso de macaco e uma para o telemovel que é um gatinho. (Dearest fairies, I want an iPhone like the one of Henrique’s mother. I would also like an iPad with a monkey case and one for the cellphone that is a cat.)

Hank: Euclides?

Euclides: Eu quero um novo telemovel e um PS4 e Minecraft pelo PS4. (I want a new cellphone and a PS4 and Minecraft for the PS4.)

Hank: Obrigado, fadas. (Thank you, fairies)

Irina e Euclides: Obrigado, fadas. (Thank you, fairies)

Me: (tip-toe away, shock and awe)

(Back Story:  I have been writing letters, inspired by our Fairy Door and it’s magic to Hank for the past year. Hence having a specific fairy he can call through his door from The Magic Door Store and a spell to leave her a message.    Last night I spent the evening crafting a letter to explain, guide and work through the request he and his friends made in the conversation above. I was shocked not by the requests, as all kids covet electronics, but that they wanted it to be private and secretive knowing full well that these gadgets are expensive and almost certainly not going to show up in their lives in the near future provided by their families but maybe, just maybe, the fairies will bring them.  I am full aware that I am cultivating and perpetuating Hank’s belief in fairies and by writing these letters and providing fairy money, etc that they are indeed real and magical and some readers of this blog may not agree with me.  But it is my firm belief that MAGIC IS REAL as long as you believe it is and that magic doesn’t just happen: you make it happen.  So with that in mind I have included Paige Portensia Xanthro Sprigh’s return response to Hank, Irina and Euclides (which will be translated into Portuguese for them).  I hope you enjoy and delight in this letter’s intentions.)

At Mid Month November
Rainy Season
Two thousand and fourteen

Dear Hank,

I was delighted to sit down in front of my nice conifer and sage fire this evening to find your message awaiting my attention, but in all honesty I was a bit baffled by it’s content. After sitting for a time and reviewing our past year’s acquaintance I came to realize that you were never fully briefed (due to our drama of February past) as to the services that our Field Agents and Far Flung Fairies, Inc. provide and I will say that I have totally given myself a scolding for I truly have befuddled your door installation as well as your knowledge of our capacities completely. I take full responsibility and with your permission I would like to add your particular door installation story (and it’s mishaps) to our training seminar. Here in this letter I can only apologize for having fell you through the cracks in our system of operation, but in using your case as a teaching tool we can prevent any future human children from blindly applying their Fairy Door to their particular wants and needs.

First I shall outline the gifts and services that accompany your Fairy Door provided by Far Flung Fairies Inc.

We fae are magical creatures. We live in the space just before waking and sleeping. We can be found through fairy doors such as yours and when called upon at a natural fairy ring, on full moon nights when you barely blink your eyes and see the world through eyelash fuzz and in very special in-between places deep in nature and far from the modern things that occupy human life.

We fairies need very little from the human world and live much the same as you, all be it better in my opinion as we leave no marks on the earth, but instead work to maintain it in it’s proper working order. Fae help administer the processes of pollination, season change, fruit and vegetable ripening, rainbow or spectrum maintenance, firefly congregation, among many other things. Most all jobs within the fairy world are naturally based, except for the services provided by Far Flung Fairies Inc.

The offices of Far Flung Fairies, Inc. is one of the few fairy institutions that interact with the human world and within that world we solely handle tooth collection and door registration. Meaning our certified Field Agents attend to collecting the lost teeth of children and animals all over the world. Some children alert us when there is a tooth in need of collecting or our extensive enchantments will locate a lost or forgotten tooth lying unclaimed. Our Field Agents whisk off and in the cases where a tooth is offered to the fae we leave a monetary or gift of compensation. When there is a case of a unclaimed tooth our Field Agents simply collect it and return to our realm. We use the teeth two fold: in potions and as a building material. No tooth is ever wasted and all are appreciated.

Far Flung Fairies, Inc. hold an exclusive contract with The Magic Door Store a manufacture of Fairy Doors located in the United Kingdom of the geographical area of The British Isles. Upon purchase of a Fairy Door our round the clock enchantments record the fine things that human possessor’s of the doors have to say and wish and do and imagine. When needed our Field Agents are dispatched through a door and see to the magic and mischief requested and in cases of teeth collection and in special circumstances (such as art openings) we leave monetary or gift compensation as I said above.

Contrary to popular belief we fairies, all be it magical and amazing, do have limitations. The biggest one that we face on a regular basis when dealing with the human world is metal. We fae cannot touch metal as it burns our skin. In fact we hate to even be near metal unless it is doused in a protective potion. Far Flung Fairies, Inc. has a whole wing of workers that only deal in metal work and their union contact allows them three months vacation for every month of work to recover from the over all interaction and stress of being near to and processing metals. This is one of the most coveted jobs in all of the fairy realm, but also one that comes with great personal sacrifice.

As you now may have surmised this is the reason any money left by the fae is sparkly. In some cases when a fairy needs to collect teeth they take paper money or inspire the parents of children to handle the monetary or gift compensation. In these cases the money does not sparkle as it was not processed in the fairy realm and the parents are rewarded with extra luck and laughter in the upcoming weeks following their assistance.

So with this explained I will jump back into the personal message I received from you just this evening past, where you and two of your friends, Euclides and Irina, requested the following electronic devices:

One Wii U
One iPhone similar to the model your mother possesses
One iPad
One cat iPhone case
One moneky iPad case
One PS4
One game of Minecraft for the PS4
One new cellphone

I, personally and the offices of Far Flung Fairies cannot fulfill these requests. As I have stated above we, the fae, mostly add our expertise to the natural world and unfortunately electronics contain far too much metal for us to stand. Our Field Agents and even myself personally (as a patron of your art) would be delighted in any natural magic or over all mischief where you would need assistance, but we cannot at all attempt to fulfill these requests, nor do you have teeth enough or art enough for us to supply monetary or gift compensation for acquisition of such a great sum of goods.

You may want to take the time to make these requests of your respective parents. I am sure you can work out a budget plan to save the money for these items over time. There is also the option of petitioning to Santa Claus as some children do around this time of year.

It is important that I explain the special circumstances behind Santa Claus and his monetary and gift giving as he too is a fairy, although this is not common knowledge. At one time in history there was a human who lived in what is now geographically Greece and his generosity and love for children was so great that when he, the man, died he became a fairy tale. This is a very rare and indeed powerful kind of magic. I do not know him personally especially as he is a great celebrity and lives apart from the fairy realm since the discovery of metal. Once metal became more popular to human’s and often used in toys he was forced to move to the very northern most tip of the known world and employ Elves to make and handle all the toys, which he distributes with their help and with the aid of a special protective suit, gloves and head gear. Due to such intense exposure to metals over the years he has grown quite bloated (what you humans call fat) and has a constant skin irritation rendering his nose and cheeks quite red. I hear he has to concoct a special potion daily to attend to the burns and they are quite painful, but yet he continues to delight children and inspire adults to give joy and love in all forms. That is also why in some human religions he is considered a saint.

Most human children seek his attention by post in December every year of the rainy season. (Although I am sure you are aware that not all children ask Santa for things as they have other ways to feel loved and find magic in their lives. Magic is real as long as you believe it is real, but love is constant and the greatest gift of all for love is pure magic.)

So in light of all that I have enclosed in this missive I hope that you understand more the relationship you have with Far Flung Fairies, Inc. and myself.   I hope you also understand that there is much more magic out there than making things appear in your life. It is my wish that we continue having a long lasting friendship and that you do call upon the services of our Field Agents or myself when you are in need.

If you have any further questions do not hesitate to call.

Best regards,

Paige Portensia Xanthro Sprigh
Director of Far Flung Fairies, INC.
Head Trainer of The Field Fairy Agency
Fairy Realm, International.