Me: (to no one really) Pants… Pants… Pants? Oh, there you are pants.
Hank: (holding Molly on my bed) You know mama, if some people looked at your legs they would say they were fat. Not me. I see that you have a little bass and that is fine. I like bass, but other people would say that about them.
Me: I prefer to say I have curves, but it’s no problem. People can think what they want. I am happy with me. I have always had thick legs and the tops are very dimpled. That’s just my shape. Not good or bad, just is.
Hank: And I have skinny legs and small muscles and I like me as me, but you want Molly to be chubby. You like a fat baby.
Molly: (drooling and smiling at Hank’s attention)
Me: I do so love a Michelin Baby. I like a happy, healthy, chubby cheeked baby and that is what I’ve got! (cooing at Molly) Yes, I do! Look at you! Linda gordinha (beautiful cute-fat girl)!
Hank: (singing) Every inch of you is perfect…
Me: (singing with Hank) From the bottom to the top!
Hank: Because we’re all about the Molly-bass, the Molly-bass no trouble.
All of us: (laughing and dancing and singing) We’re all about the Molly-bass, the Molly-bass no trouble! We’re all about that bass!
*My apologies to Meghan Trainor. I am well aware that the correct lyric is treble and not trouble, but trying to explain that pun to a seven year old with no music training would ruin the mood.