On Vacation: Returning April 9th



My wonderful parents are visiting us in Portugal for TWO WEEKS!  We are so grateful to be able to have time with them.  We miss them so much.

While they are here there will be no new conversations.

DON’T JUST LEAVE!!! Please take a minute to browse the archives.  There are over TWO YEARS worth of Conversations with Hank to entertain you while we are away.

We will return with all new conversation on April 9th, 2015.

Thank you so much for visiting, reading and sharing.

See you soon!




conversations with hank


Me: Alfredo? Do you need help?

Pai: Yes.

Me: (rushing over) What is it?

Pai: (holding out a joyous baby with a large seeping pool of shit leaking out her tights) It’s all over me.

Me: It’s a crap-tastrophe.

Hank: (positively purple with laughter)

Pai: I will find that funny in about five minutes. (sulking off to change)

Me: (generously going to change the baby, giggling)

Hank: Crap-tastrophe!!!! (near seconds from passing from hysteria)


Banana Phones

conversations with hank

Me: (holding a banana to my ear and one out to Hank) Ring, ring… Ring, ring.

Hank: (grabbing his banana) Hello?

Me: Hello. Is Hank available, please?

Hank: (banana to his ear) This is Hank.

Me: Hi, Hank. This is your mother. I was wondering if you would like a banana?

Hank: I would and I know… I know… If I eat this banana then we can no longer talk on these banana phones, but I want a banana, yes.

Me: (banana still to my ear) Roger that. Thought I’d give you a call. Let’s hang up then and I will open your banana.

Hank: (banana still to his ear) Sounds good. (mimes hanging up)

Me: (mimes hanging up) Shall I open your banana like a monkey or a human?

Hank: Um… monkey.

Me: (opening the banana from the bottom) Oh man, this may be the most perfect banana ever.

Hank: Ohhhhh! I wanna eat it!

Me: You’re so lucky to have bananas. You know you Avó-avó Aldina (great-grandmother) never once tried a banana.

Hank: Really?

Me: Yes, she was famously stubborn and when asked if she wanted a banana she would say, “bananas don’t grow in Portugal why would I want one?”

Hank: But banana’s grow in Madeira.

Me: True, but Madeira is a semi-tropical island in the middle of the ocean. She meant on the continental part of Portugal. She also famously never, ever ate beef.

Hank: Ever?

Me: Nope. She used to say, “Cows are to work in the field, why would you eat a cow? They are needed.”

Hank: (mouth full of banana) nodding. Her life was very different than mine. I loved her. I remember her hands and sitting in her lap in Alentejo.

Me: She was someone very special. We are very lucky to have loved and been loved by her.

Hank: And now she is on her next journey. (pause) I hope it’s great.

Me: It’s a mystery, but knowing Aldina, she has made it great.