conversations with hank

Me: Ok. Have you removed all traces of goat smell from your body?

Hank: (fresh from the shower, giggling) Yes.

Me: Have you your pajamas, teeth brush-ithed, hair comb-ithed and face wash-ithed young squire?

Hank: Indeed… What do I call you when life used to be?

Me: My lady.

Hank. Oh yes, my lady.

Me: Right then, now you must away on the great quest of dreaming.

Hank: (jumping onto his bed then jumbling under the covers) Mama?

Me: (getting him sorted) Hum?

Hank: Why are you my best ever mama?

Me: (grinning) Because you are my best ever boy and we’re a team. You’re my partner in crime.

Hank: If I ever lost you I would never be okay again. I would never love anyone else.

Me: (pause, sitting) Not true.


Me: I have lost people that I loved more than anything else. My heart has been broken more than once by loss. There isn’t a day when I don’t miss them or need to hold them, but I chose to keep on loving. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it and I carry their love with me every day. (hand on my heart)


Me: If you ever lost me all of my love and all of my words would stay with you forever. We are all made of love. You are made of my love and papa’s and he and I are made of our parent’s love and they were made of our grandparent’s love, your great grandparents, and my grandparents were made of the love from my great grandparents and great-great grandparents and so on and so forth all the way back to the beginning.


Me: You have never met those people, but all of their love lives in you. You are made of the love of your family, your ancestors that have come before you. Love never goes away. If you ever lost me I would always be with you. You would carry me in your heart, but I am never going anywhere on purpose.

Hank: I am happy you healed your broken heart so I could have love from you.

Me: (pause)

Hank: I am happy to be apart of your love-team. (smiling)

Me: (weepy) Oh! Me, too. Thank you, Hank. You make my life better.

Hank: (from a hug) Happy tears, mama?

Me: The happiest.