Hank: Excuse me. (gets up from the dinner table, goes into the hallway and rips the loudest fart I have ever heard)
Me: (hysterically laughing)
Pai: (shocked, cackling)
Molly: (utterly confused, nawshing on bread)
Hank: (returning, blushing) Perdão (I beg your pardon).
Me: (trying to regain my composure)
Pai: You did the right thing, leaving the table, thank you. (wiping tears from his eyes)
Me: Yes, you did. I just didn’t know you were going into the hall to fire off your butt-cannon.
Hank: (positively purple with laughter)
Pai: (riots of laughter)
Molly: (growling at her bread)
Me: I was thinking… where is he going and then all of a sudden you butt announced, “Assemble the troops. On my count… FIRE!”
Hank: (doubled over laughing)
Me: Normally, I do not find butt-cannon farts funny. I more enjoy the butt-trumpet variety of farts. Now those are funny, but you have made me a believer in the butt-cannon. Thank you, Hank. And Molly?
Molly: (looking over at me, missing her mouth and shoving soggy bread into her cheek) Take a page from your brother’s playbook.
Pai: (still laughing) Butt-Cannon (shaking his head).
Hank: (holding his side, trying to catch his breath)