Me: Helllllooooo little Molly McGoooooo!
Molly: (Huge smile, happy as a squirrel)
Me: (picking her up from her crib) Yes! I love (sniff) ewwwwww. Wow! Oh GAWD.
Hank: What is it?
Me: Your sister. (making the face of something smells bad)
Hank: What’s wrong.
Me: She smells terrible.
Me: Oh man. (walking to the changing table)
Hank: She pooped didn’t she?
Me: Either that or she has spoiled and we need to take her to the doctor for tests.
Hank: (giggling) It’s normal.
Molly: (super cute and smiling)
Me: Yes and no. Your sister smells like hot poop soup. (shuddering) I don’t think I can change this one.
Hank: You can do it, mama!
Me: (completely grossed out) Oh good lord, Amália. What did you eat? I can’t. Hank, you do it.
Hank: (getting a chair) We will do it together.
Me: I just don’t’ understand the level of funk that flows out this child.
Hank: Mama, stop. Open the diaper.
Me: (taking a deep breath) You’re right. Embrace the weird. Everyone has something weird about them, right? (opening the diaper)
Hank and I together: Ewwwwwwwwwww
Molly: (looking concerned then deciding against it and going back to giddy)
Me: I have my weird ability to remember stories, songs and faces. (practically gagging) Molly can clear a room with her farts. What’s your weird, Hank?
Hank: (thinking, handing me diaper wipes) Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe it is smells because this diaper doesn’t bother me at all. I know it is gross, but I can handle it.
Me: Yup. That is weird.
Hank: (to Molly) Hot poop soup doesn’t bother me. Nope. No, it doesn’t McGoo.
Molly: (utterly in love with her brother’s attention)
Me: Awesome. Embrace the weird by taking this diaper to the laundry room for me then.