Hank: Mama? (clutching a yellow notebook to his chest)
Me: Yes, my dove?
Hank: Can I ask you for help? I have an English test tomorrow and I need help studying.
Me: Always. What is the test on?
Hank: Yes and I know nothing about sports. All the other kids know so much but I know nothing and normally I know so much in English, but I am lost. I mean what is a badminton anyway?
Me: Great question. (giggling) Your parents sure didn‘t prepare you for this did they? When you were three you thought an American football helmet was a bird and the last time I went to a Super Bowl party I asked what inning we were in.
Hank: I don’t know what that means.
Me: There are no innings in football only baseball…
Me: Never mind.
Hank: You don’t like sports why would you go to a sports party?
Me: Three words: Seven Layer Dip.
Hank: I don’t know what that is.
Me: It’s like a deconstructed taco.
Me: Totally yum. Anyway, your papa and I grew up with sports, but we didn’t carry on the interest with you, I’m afraid.
Hank: I don’t mind, but it just means I need to extra study for this test.
Hank: I need to know how to write and also what ball goes with the sport. Here is the list.
Me: All by tomorrow?
Hank: I have been practicing the spelling, but yes… by tomorrow. Sorry.
Me: Do you need to know the rules or just these things.
Hank: No! Thank god, no. That would be really, really hard.
Me: Truth. Now fetch me my computer. By the power Google has instilled upon me and the knowledge that comes with it: YOU SHALL PASS THIS TEST!