Hank: (coming into my bedroom) Mama?
Me: (reading) Hum?
Hank: I wanted to remind you to wash your face before you go to bed because you are wearing makeup. And you looked very pretty today, by the way. I like it when you wear makeup.
Me: Thank you for the compliment and thank you for the reminder, Hank.
Hank: Yah, because I learned that when you’re drunk you forget to take your makeup off sometimes and it gets all (gesturing a smearing motion all over his face) when you wake up and that is also really bad for your skin.
Me: Hank, do you think I’m drunk?
Hank: (back peddling) No… No, no, no. I mean, I saw you drinking beer, but I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think I know what drunk means. Maybe?
Me: That’s probably because you have never seen either of your parents drunk before.
Hank: Right. Yes, of course. Exactly.
Me: (going back to my book, smirking) But great advice none the less.
Hank: (leaving the room) You’re welcome.