Me: Dinner smells divine!
Hank: Monica made it.
Pai: Nothing like bacalhau (cod fish), potatoes and cream.
Monica: And carrots.
Me: Spoken like a true Portuguese.
Molly: Yummmmmy. (digging in)
Me: It’s a hit!
Monica: Oh, I have to show you guys this Halloween costume I found it. I am totally want to wear it next year. Can I break the cellphone at dinner rule?
Pai: Go for it.
Me: Is it kid appropriate?
Monica: For sure, it’s a millennial.
Pai: This should be funny.
Hank: What’s a menmemial?
Me: A flavor of M&M.
Monica: (giggling, googling)
Molly: (ignoring us, eating)
Me: Limited edition.
Me: You can only get them in Times Square or Oxford Street. (adopting my best Disney French accent) Très exclusif (very exclusive)!
Hank: What is it really?
Me: They were made using only renewable energy, off grid and they are 100% vegan and cruelty free and hand packaged by a guy named, Dane.
Me: The packaging is zero waist and fully compostable, incredibly loud, but totally worth it.
Hank: Pai, what is a memenible?
Monica: (raising her hand, never taking her eyes from her phone) ME! I am a millennial.
Hank: (completely confused)
Monica: I am a millennial, but your parents are not.
Me: It is a demographic of people.
Hank: What is a demographic?
Pai: A section of a population. A Millennial is anyone 18-thirty…..
Monica: Four. 18-34 years old.
Pai: Thank you.
Me: I am a 90’s Riot GRRRL. That is GRRRL spelled with three R’s, Hank.
Pai: Riot GRRRL is a nouveau-feminist, punk rock, political movement, but sadly, not a demographic. You are a generation X like me, Riot GRRRL.
Me: (slight pout) Regardless, the fact that you know that is why I married you.
Hank: So if prima (Monica) is a millennial and you are X’s then what am I?
Pai: Well, we don’t know yet.
Monica: (still googling)
Me: Your generation’s demographic hasn’t showed any lasting characteristics yet. Y’all aren’t old enough to have left a mark on the world.
Hank: (existential) What does that even mean? Who am I? Who are we? No one knows who I am yet? What?
Monica: (whining) I can’t find it! It was perfect! I don’t remember if it was on Instagram or Facebook or 9gag or Snapchat or … (despondent)
Molly: (having eaten all her dinner) Peeees. More peeees.
Hank: I mean WHO AM I?
Me: (to Pai) I think I liked the conversation better when millennials were M&Ms.
Hank: I mean how long do I have to wait until I know who I am?
Monica: Where was that?