(on the walk home)
Hank: Mom, what’s for dinner?
Me: Sea monster.
Me: Sea monster, roasted with olive oil, garlic and red wine and baked potatoes.
Hank: Are you serious?
Me: As a heart attack.
Hank: (literally scratching his head)
Me: Povo (octopus).
Me: We are having povo (octopus) and you hate povo.
Hank: I seriously do. I think it is because my body is just extremely sensitive to intense smells and when I smell the cozinheiras (lunch ladies) making arroz de povo (octopus rice) at my school I actually feel vomit in my breath.
Me: I totally understand. I think all people have one food they cannot stand the smell of and for me it is definitely boiling bratwurst.
Hank: Like that sausage?
Me: Yes. When you buy them fresh you boil them first and often times in beer. If I smell boiling bratwurst I too feel like I am going to puke which is why I buy the pre-cooked kind from the grocery. I like the taste, but goodness, the smell. (shutters)
Hank: When I have to eat arroz de povo (octopus rice) I don’t even really chew it. I just swallow it as fast as I can. I eat it first that way I can use my salad and fruit and bread to get rid of the taste.
Me: No one ever called you dumb.
Hank: Not one day!
Me: Right, tonight I am not making you a second dinner.
Hank: (disappointed harrumph thinking he is going to have to eat roasted sea monster)
Me: You are going to make your own dinner.
Me: Since I just have to pop the sea monster and potatoes into the oven and the salad is already made I have the time to sit back and be there to jump in if you need me while you make yourself a British Fry Up, minus the sweet beans since I don’t have any and the black pudding because I also don’t have any of that either but I have mushrooms and tomatoes and egg and presunto (prosciutto) or as the British call it, Parma ham.
Hank: Really!? And I am making it by myself!? On the stove?
Me: You are ready.
Hank: Oh my goodness, I am so excited. I hope I don’t mess up!
Me: I have half a dozen eggs so you have six chances.
Hank: I am going to do my homework so fast so I can start chopping the vegetables. OH, can I put cheese on my egg?
Me: Yes, Chef.
Hank: Mama, you should make povo (octopus)… I mean, sea monster more often now that I can make my own dinner.
Me: Your father will be pleased.