Molly: (chirping from her bed, supposed to be napping)
Hank: (across the room in my bedroom tackling the three weeks worth of homework he missed while sick with Mono)
Molly: (sweet as apple pie) Mano (brother)? (pause) Mano(brother)?
Me: (vaulting from the living room sofa where I was reading, intercepting Hank in the hallway)
Me: (finger to my lips, pulling him back into my bedroom and shutting the door)
Molly: (like a siren) Maaannnoooo (brother).
Me: (whisper screaming) Hank, don’t you even consider opening that door.
Hank: (dramatically gesturing, whisper screaming) I was just going to tell my mana (sister) that is was time to sleep.
Me: (sitting on the end of my bed, face to face, eye to eye) Your sister is extremely smart. Notice she did not say, “Mama,” and she did not call for, “Pai (dad),” she called the one person she KNOWS will free her from the bonds of her naptime prison. She has you wrapped so tight around her little finger.
Hank: (giggling because it is true)
Me: You would do anything for her.
Hank: (nodding) I would.
Me: It is imperative we push naptime as long as we can. I am still traumatized by you giving up your afternoon nap and you are closer to ten than you are to nine at this point so that should illustrate how traumatizing a no-more-nap toddler can be… mmmm-kay?
Me: I know it is hard. I am willing to tie you to the mast of your ship like Odysseus if need be, but you do not under any circumstances barring fire or hostage takeover, free that baby from her shackles.
Me: You can understand the sentiment without understanding my references.
Hank: I barely know what sentiments means.
Hank: Okay. (sitting down and returning to his work)
Molly: (still sweet but with a hint of duress) Maaaaaannnnnnnoooo (brother)?
Hank: (whisper screaming) I hear nothing.
Me: (mission accomplished) That’s my boy.