ComPUTAdor (Computer)


(over dinner)

Prima: And how was your day, Hank?

Hank: Good.

Me: Anything…

Hank: Before you even ask, yes, something hilarious happened today.

Pai: I can’t wait for this.

Hank: When we were working on um… Those puzzles where you have to find words in a box of a lot of letters that do not make words except when they are the words you are looking for.

Me: (nodding) A word search.

Hank: Right. We were doing a word search in class and all of a sudden Santiago started laughing and shouted, “My puzzle has a palavrão (curse word)! There is a palavrão (curse word) in my puzzle, but not on my list! I found a word not on the list!”

Me: In the interest of better storytelling you may have full use of the unmentioned palavrão (curse word) because I would wager five bucks that Santiago didn’t say palavrão (curse word) when he shouted for your attention.

Hank: (laughing) He so didn’t. Okay, (clearing his throat) He said, “My puzzle has puta (whore)! There is puta (whore) in my puzzle, but not on my list!”

Me: (semi choking on my dinner, laughing behind my napkin)

Prima: (cackling)

Pai: (giggling)

Hank: (laughing tears down his face) Then he called the teacher over and said it again!

Me: Of course he did. That Santiago has no fear and no shame.

Hank: And my teacher said, “Yes Santiago, I see what you see, but you are missing the whole word. This is only a small part.

Me: (riots of laughter, slapping the table) Puta (whore) is only a small part.

Pai: (pulling him self together) And what was the whole word, Hank?

Hank: Computador (computer). I will spend the rest of my life knowing that puta (whore) is a part of computador (computer).

Me: It cannot be unseen.

Prima: (hysterical) Why would they even use computador (computer) in a word search for that reason?

Pai: Why would a highly educated adult assume a 4th grader would know what a puta (whore) is?

Hank: And also compota (jam).

Me: (wiping tears from my eyes) What about compota (jam)?

Hank: Compota (jam) also has puta (whore) in it.

Me: Nope, no.

Pai: We have to work on your spelling.

Hank: Huh?

Me: C-o-m-p-O-t-a. There is no whore in jam.

Prima: (practically purple with laughter)