Me: (barely awake, bed head, eyes not even open) Good morning, Hank.
Hank: (chipper as a squirrel, fully dressed, hair done, breakfast of an egg over easy and toast made by himself already eaten) Good morning, mama!
Me: (audible groan)
Hank: Mama, I am watching a YouTube video about if New York City apartments are worth it at their price. They go to three apartments and the first one was so cute. She only pays $1,700 a month.
Hank: But MOM it’s New York City.
Me: I don’t think my heart can take this conversation before coffee.
Hank: The girl said she could barely afford her apartment, but that she felt it was totally worth it.
Me: (rubbing the sleep from my eyes) The average rent in Lisbon is now €850.
Hank: Yes, but mom, it’s Lisbon.
Me: (super sassy because this conversation is hurting my soul) Yes, but Hank the average rent in Lisbon has increased dramatically. When we moved here in 2010 you could get a two bedroom apartment for around €600. The average rent for an apartment close to the university in Guimarães is about that!
Me: Yah… And speaking of rents and moving. (yawn) I am considering letting you move into the guest room sooner than we originally agreed.
Me: With the caveat that when we have a guest you go right back into your old room.
Hank: But why? I mean, I thought I had to wait until I was thirteen.
Me: Originally, yes. I adore your sister, but you two are completely different people and she talks and sings for a full hour or more before she finally settles down. It’s hard for your papa and I a room away, but I can only imagine how hard it is for you when you want to sleep.
Hank: (giggles) Yah, she does go on and on and on.
Me: I am still thinking about it, but after the holidays if she doesn’t settle down more then I think we should give you your own space.
Hank: (thinking rather loudly)
Me: (desperate for coffee)
Hank: Mama, I don’t think I’m ready.
Hank: I think I should stay in our shared room for a while longer. My sister needs me and I want to be there for her when we turn her crib into a bed and really I don’t mind her singing, it doesn’t really keep me up, and maybe we can try and get her to bed earlier than me? I can get ready for bed with her like we do now, but then we three can put her to bed and I can read or watch my novella (soap opera) and she can fall asleep and then I can creep in quietly later.
Me: Also very smart and thoughtful suggestions.
Hank: Trust me, I WANT to move into the guest room that is my dream, but I’m just not ready for that dream to come true yet.
Me: (impressed) Noted.
Molly: (from their shared bedroom as if she knew we were talking about her) Mano (brother)? Maaannnooo (brother)?
Me: Oofta! Someone’s awake already? (looking at my bare wrist where my watch would be later because: no coffee)
Hank: Can I go and get her?
Me: By all means.
Hank: (dashes off)
Molly: (sing-songy) Mano?
Hank: Good morning, little chicken!
Molly: Chicken mano (brother)!
Hank: Are you ready to get up?
Molly: SIM (YES)!
Hank: Okay, here we go! One… Two…
(Enjoy a parody tutorial/advice video from, Bumba na Fofina, a Portuguese comedian from Lisbon who also laments the current housing prices)