Me: HelllloooooooOOOOOOOooo! Welcome home, my lord, how faired your daily scholarship?
Hank: (frozen in the doorway) What? Um, mom?
Me: Forgive me, my brain is still in the 16th century. Let me start again… (clears throat) Hey, pal! How was school?
Hank: (entering the house) Good. I mean, I had a crazy English class with the test and not having enough time, but the teacher knowing that and saying she won’t count it against us, but still super stressful and um… yah. I don’t think, actually I KNOW, I didn’t get a perfect score because of the spelling. Like I for sure messed up Fire Fighter. Like, mom, how do you spell Fire Fighter?
Me: You tell me.
Hank: Okay good. F-I-T-E-R…
Me: Nope! That is where you lost it. Where was the studying, buddy? You didn’t tell me you had the deadly “silent GH” words on your test. You said you were prepared. That GH requires work! Screws up EVERYONE at first. I mean… WHY IS IT EVEN THERE WHEN IT IS SILENT?! We must investigate this.
Hank: Exactly! Light? WHY is there a GH in Light? Why isn’t it L-I-T-E?
Me: I feel you, but if you knew you’d have these irregular spellings and questions on and about your test why didn’t you ask for help?
Hank: Argh!!! (dropping his backpack) So that I could learn this lesson the hard way. I have no excuse. I just thought I’d be fine.
Me: Guess which words you just said contains a deadly silent GH? Which, just to blow your mind, sometimes is pronounced like an F as in cough. Can you spell cough?
Hank: English is so hard AND I SPEAK ENGLISH, like speaking doesn’t even help you at all!!!!!
Me: True story.