conversations with hank


Me: (before coffee, eyes still glued shut) Riddle me this, Hank: Did you set a secondary alarm on my phone?

Hank: A what?

Me: A secondary alarm? All of a sudden, as of 2018, I have this extra alarm that goes off with a message, (ungluing my eyes, cracking one open)

Hank: Yes, that was me. The one that says, “Greet your son?”

Me: If only that was what it says.

Hank: Huh?

Me: My message says, “Greet your soon. And good morning.”

Hank: Oh.

Me: So we will need to work on your spelling a bit more.

Hank: I was worried after break you’d forget about me and oversleep and I would be all alone in the morning so I added an extra alarm to help you.

Me: Huh, funny. Have I ever let you down?

Hank: No.

Me: Have I ever forgotten our morning coffee date and over slept?

Hank: No.

Me: And have you ever been alone in the morning?

Hank: No, but with that extra alarm I know I won’t be.

Me: Gives you peace of mind then?

Hank: I guess? I don’t know what that means.

Me: It means it gives you peace, no worries, no stress, you are comforted knowing that my calm, charming, sing-songie hippie-dippie alarm is obliterated by a jarring, electronic blatting reminding me to greet my misspelled son in the morning?

Hank: Oh, yes it does.

Me: I am glad your micromanagement of me gives you comfort.

Hank: Thank you.

Me: (walking into the kitchen to make my coffee) I am at your service.