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The Magic of a Good Book

 

 

Molly: (face buried in a book) Scared a cat where everyone is sleeping. (turns page)

Hank: Mana (sister), it is time to go to sleep.

Molly: NO, mano (brother)! I reading! Dog on a boy where everyone is sleeping (turns page)

Hank: But mana (sister), I’m tired and it is very late and mama already read you that book…

Me: (entering the room with a drip of water for each of my children served fancily in stemmed Port wine glasses) Twice.

Molly: NO! I reading (turns page)!

Me: Oh, but did you know that if you put a book, a very special book that you love with all your heart under your pillow at night the story will become your dreams.

Hank: (sipping his water, eyebrows raised, suspect) Mom.

Me: (adopting an air of Mary Poppins) Magic is real as long as you believe it or make it so for others, mano (brother).

Hank: (shifting gears) Mama is right, mana (sister). It’s true! I do it allllllllll the time.

Me: Me, too!

Molly: (finishing her water) Me, too-too! Please?

Me: Well alright, but you have to go to sleep.

Molly: (excited) Okay! (hands me back her empty glass and tucks her favorite book under her pillow) Like this?

Me: Exactly, now close your eyes and turn the pages of your book in your imagination and the story will become your dreams!

Hank: (hands me back his empty glass) Good night, mama.

Me: Good night, buddy.

Molly: SHHHHhhhhhhh, I reading-dreaming!

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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That

Apparently, we have all been doing this wrong.

Apparently, we have all been doing this wrong.

 

(walking in to find Hank and his Pai (dad) in absolute hysterics)

Me: What in the world is this funny that you aren’t sharing it with me?

Pai: (literal tears streaming down his face) The Kardashians.

Me: Come again?

Hank: (practically hyperventilating) I am showing Pai (dad) how the Kardashians arrange their cookie jars.

Me: Am I in a parallel universe?

Pai: (pointing to Hank’s phone, blissfully overwhelmed) And how they eat Kit-Kats!

Me: Because they don’t eat Kit-Kat’s like the rest of us?

Pai: NO! (riots of laughter)

Hank: Mom, you have no idea.

Pai: They disassemble the Kit-Kat and eat it one layer at a time!

Me: Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Hank: And they put their cookies in a cookie jar like this (shows me his phone paused on a YouTube video).

Me: What the? Wait, how many cookies does it take to fill one jar?

Pai: Four and a half packages!

Me: Shut your face!

Hank: No, he’s right! She tells you how many in the video.

Me: First World Problems!

Pai: But I don’t understand why they do this because once exposed to the air the cookies go stale.

Hank: Well, they don’t really eat the cookies. They’re more for display.

Me: But they eat Kit-Kats apparently.

Pai: Everyone needs a vice.

Me: Bless their precious hearts.

Hank: Mom, you’ve gotta see this.

Me: Nope. Once lost I will never get that time back and I’d rather spend it reading a good book. She can go on and arrange her cookies, no judgement!

Pai: (still recovering, dabbing his eyes and giggling)

Hank: But mom it’s soooooooo funny!

Me: You do you, boys. Enjoy!

Pai: (returning to gut bending hysterics) Four and a half packages of cookies!

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Wishing You All A Very Merry Unbirthday

This is what 38 looks like.

This is what 38 looks like.

 

Pai: Is everything on the table that needs to be on the table?

Me: I’m happy.

Hank: Amália needs a water glass.

Pai: Okay, anything else?

Hank: No.

Me: Nope.

Pai: (returning with said water glass) Great, now we can start the birthday!

Me: Hurray!

Hank: Happy birthday, mom.

Me: Thanks, buddy.

Molly: It your birthday?

Me: Yes, today is my birthday, Ms. Molly MaGoo.

Molly: (pouting) Awe, I want it my birthday, too! Share?

Me: You would like me to share my birthday with you?

Molly: (perks up) YAH!

Me: Well, I’d be honored. Happy Unbirthday, Amália!

Pai: Happy Un-Birthday, filha (daughter)!

Hank: (whispers in my ear) But mom, do you think it is a good idea to make her think it is also her birthday, I mean, this is your day.

Me: Trust me, it’s perfectly fine. Today is also your unbirthday.

Hank: Wait, un-birthday? (catching on) Ohhhh.

Me: (winking at him, singing) Aaaaaaaaaa very merry unbirthday to you!

Molly: To me?

Me: Yes, you! (turning to Hank) A very merry unbirthday to you!

Hank: There is a song for this?

Me: (singing) Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true!

Hank: Is this a real song or are you making it up?

Me: (big finish) A MERRY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUUUUUEUEUEU!

Pai: Haven’t we learn yet that with your mother there is always a song.