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Wishing You All A Very Merry Unbirthday

This is what 38 looks like.

This is what 38 looks like.

 

Pai: Is everything on the table that needs to be on the table?

Me: I’m happy.

Hank: Amália needs a water glass.

Pai: Okay, anything else?

Hank: No.

Me: Nope.

Pai: (returning with said water glass) Great, now we can start the birthday!

Me: Hurray!

Hank: Happy birthday, mom.

Me: Thanks, buddy.

Molly: It your birthday?

Me: Yes, today is my birthday, Ms. Molly MaGoo.

Molly: (pouting) Awe, I want it my birthday, too! Share?

Me: You would like me to share my birthday with you?

Molly: (perks up) YAH!

Me: Well, I’d be honored. Happy Unbirthday, Amália!

Pai: Happy Un-Birthday, filha (daughter)!

Hank: (whispers in my ear) But mom, do you think it is a good idea to make her think it is also her birthday, I mean, this is your day.

Me: Trust me, it’s perfectly fine. Today is also your unbirthday.

Hank: Wait, un-birthday? (catching on) Ohhhh.

Me: (winking at him, singing) Aaaaaaaaaa very merry unbirthday to you!

Molly: To me?

Me: Yes, you! (turning to Hank) A very merry unbirthday to you!

Hank: There is a song for this?

Me: (singing) Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true!

Hank: Is this a real song or are you making it up?

Me: (big finish) A MERRY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUUUUUEUEUEU!

Pai: Haven’t we learn yet that with your mother there is always a song.

 

 

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Savage

Gummy Bears were hurt in the process of writing this blog

Gummy Bears were hurt in the process of writing this blog

 

Me: Hank?

Hank: Yah?

Me: Why are there gummy bears on the living room door?

Hank: What?

Me: A pair of gummy bears is sitting on my living room door.

Hank: Hold on (abandons his homework). What the…

Me: I know, right! Did you do this?

Hank: No, I don’t even like gummy candy.

Me: Amália Sofia?

Molly: (in her bedroom) Sim?

Me: Can you come here, please?

Molly: I coming! (running into the living room, curls bouncing) I here!

Hank: Amália, how did these gummy bears sit on this door? Was it you?

Me: Was it the fairies?

Molly: OH! Those my friends. I no eat them. I love them.

Hank: Awe, that is so sweet.

Molly: (bouncing away) I eat them tomorrow.

Me: (riots of laughter)

Hank: You know what that was mom? That was savage. My sister is savage.

Me: (nodding, totally in love with my life)

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How was your day?

conversations with hank

 

Pai: (walking out of the living room, frazzled) Molly’s up. I am running late. Can you somehow manage to get her dressed, fed and her lunch packed in about 20 minutes?

Me: (calm, cool and collected) No problem.

Pai: (dashing off to get ready) Thanks, sorry, you’re the best.

Me: (entering the living room)

Molly: (rolled into a blanket on the sofa with a major case of bedhead)

Me: Good morning, MaGoo.

Molly: Good morning. I hungry.

Me: I’ll go fetch you a yogurt and be right back.

Molly: WAIT!

Me: Yes?

Molly: Wait, mama. How your day, mama? How your day?

Me: I am having a lovely morning, thank you. How is your day so far, Amália?

Molly: (gigantic yawn) I wake up. I no faz chi-chi (pee) in my fralda (diaper). I hungry. I go to Tia’s house (Nanny’s). (nodding)

Me: That sounds like an excellent day, lovie.

Molly: Yah, egg-sealent.

Me: Shall I get your breakfast now?

Molly: No.

Me: But papa is in a rush this morning. He has class. We’ve gotta hustle.

Molly: Me, too? Me too, have class with papa? I go to school?

Me: You will go to school in September.

Molly: September tomorrow?

Me: Not quite.

Molly: (fat tears tumble down her face) NO! School tomorrow! School tomorrow, okay mama?

Me: (walking over to the sofa) I am sorry school isn’t tomorrow, MaGoo.

Molly: (crying into my fleece bathrobe)

Me: BUT at Tia’s house you can play school! You can pretend school with Ariana!

Molly: Yah?

Me: Yah. One of you can be the teacher and the other the student and then you switch.

Molly: I the teacher, mama. Me! I teacher.

Me: Alright, you can be the teacher.

Molly: I teacher skeletons.

Me: You’re going to teach Ariana about skeletons?

Molly: Yah. I hungry.

Me: Would you like to come to the kitchen with me and teach me how to open your yogurt?

Molly: (delighted) YAH! I misk it! I misk it, mama.

Me: Perfect.

Molly: (toddling off, curls bouncing) Come on, mama! Papa rush. Come on! We hustle!