While drinking lemonaid


Hank:  Ahhhhhh! I swallowed a lemon seed!

Me: Fantastic!

Pai: (with a knowing look of a man who can smell trouble)  Mãe (mom)!

Me: Now a lemon tree will grow in your stomach.

Pai:  She’s joking Hank.

Me: And soon the branches will sprout out your mouth and ears and leaves will replace your eyelashes and we’ll have a constant supply of fresh lemons as long as we keep you warm and in the sun.

Pai:  Hank, do not listen to your Mãe (mom). That seed will come out in your poop.

Hank: In my POOP!  That’s crazy!


Playmobil Separation Anxiety


Hank: Do I have to go?

Me: There is sun.  Our adventure awaits!

Pai:  We are going to a casa antiga (historic home), see amazing things, play in the gardens, take pictures.

Hank:  Why is everything always old?

Me:  Because this is Europe.  In American the only things that are old are dirt and trees.

Hank:  This isn’t Europe.  This is Portugal.

Me:  Contrary to popular belief Portugal is in Europe.

Pai: Not South America.


Cave paintings


Me: (reading the newspaper)  They found new cave paintings

Hank:  Cave paintings?

Me:  Yup.  Ages and ages ago people use to live in caves before they knew how to build houses. And they decorated the walls with paintings.  Just like we do today.  They were like their newspaper.  They were only pictures because people hadn’t invented words yet.

Hank:  Oh.

Me: Everything on the earth has a job.  Bees carry pollen and make honey.  Worms bring air to the soil and turn it.  Wolves eat deer so the deer don’t eat all the plants.  Deer eat plants and tend the forest so it doesn’t over grow. Frogs eat flies and mosquitoes so they do not take over the world and people tell stories and have babies and then pass the stories on to them.  These cave paintings are some of the earliest stories.

Hank:  What is the picture?

Me:  It is a picture of a rabbit.

Hank: Let me see…  (looks at the article) Can we go see it?

Me: Yes, of course. Why do you want to go see it?

Hank:  I want to see their picture. Why do you want to go see it?

Me:  I want to see their story.